Teresa Reviews “The Affair of the Pink Pearl” (1983)

Teresa reviews “The Affair of the Pink Pearl” (1983) and believes that there’s no place to go for it than up.

Fidelity to text: 2 1/2 thieves

Text? Which text? The opening episode combines three stories into one episode, while ignoring the overall arc tying the short story collection together.

Quality of movie on its own: 2 1/2 thieves

A little Tuppence goes a long, long way. She’s tiresome, and the episode is lackluster.

Read more of Teresa’s Agatha Christie movie reviews at Peschel Press.

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I like the book versions of Tommy and Tuppence. I haven’t been happy with any of the filmed versions. They were indifferent at best.

The first filmed version of The Secret Adversary (the German-made Die Abenteurer G.m.b.H. in 1929) set the stage by rewriting Agatha’s characters into something new and strange. The 1983 film of The Secret Adversary was so faithful to the text that it became stodgy. Well-done, beautifully-dressed stodge but still stodge. The less said about the 2015 version with David Walliams as Tommy, the better. Tommy and Tuppence were distorted almost beyond recognition.

I had hoped that the TV series of the Partners in Crime short stories (fifteen in all) would be better than what I’ve sat through to date. Short stories lend themselves to TV episodes because they’re to the point, and get on with the action. They often benefit from being expanded, fleshing out sketchy details or answering unanswered questions.

Also, the 15 stories are all parodies of famous mystery writers of the 1910s and the first half of the 1920s. Agatha enjoyed making fun of famous writers and their famous detectives, including her own Hercule Poirot. The parody element could add another layer of enjoyment even though most of Agatha’s targets are forgotten today.

Finally, Partners in Crime should be perfect for television as it’s got an overall arc involving Russian spies popping up every now and then, yet each individual episode — being based on one story — can stand on its own. A viewer can watch the entire series and get a complete narrative or dip in now and then and still be satisfied with good television.

Based on the opening episode, I no longer have high hopes.

For starters, the producers omitted the entire Russian spy plot binding the stories into a cohesive whole. Those three stories (“The Sinister Stranger,” “Blindman’s Buff,” “The Man Who Was No. 16”) were not filmed. Instead, Inspector Marriot tells Tommy and Tuppence that the former owner of their new detective agency, Mr. Blunt, is a guest of his Majesty the King and, and, and; well, I don’t know if anything will come of that setup where T&T have to keep an eye out for potential criminal accomplices of Mr. Blunt showing up at the office. We’ll find out.

The first episode, The Affair of the Pink Pearl, combines three short stories into one episode. “The Fairy in the Flat” covers Tommy and Tuppence taking over Blunt’s International Detective Agency but the Russian spies went back to Russia. Next comes “A Pot of Tea,” a case engineered by Tuppence to get their detective agency publicity and to help a friend bring her young man up to snuff. “The Affair of the Pink Pearl” is their first real case, brought by outsiders who need actual detecting done.

That’s more than enough material for a 52-minute episode, yet there are scenes when you wait for something to happen and nothing does. There’s only so much mildly witty banter that doesn’t advance the plot and rehashes already well-established characters you can sit through.

Our stars don’t quite work either.

Francesca Annis is Tuppence. She’s the headliner so she gets top billing over James Warwick as Tommy. If you’ve ever wondered what a manic pixie dream girl who’s also a flapper would be like, look no further. Annis was 38 when she filmed this series and that’s another issue. She’s too old.

I appreciate it when Hollywood permits older women a starring role, especially as the heroine. No matter what Hollywood execs claim, they want their actresses young, younger, youngest even when the leading man is fifty years older than his costar. In The First Wives Club, Goldie Hawn played an aging actress and she famously said (it’s quite possible she adlibbed and this wasn’t in the script) there are three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. She’s not wrong! But there’s a point at which a woman stops pretending she’s an ingenue. She can be seductive and sophisticated but older women pretending to be their daughters is why we recognize the phrase “mutton dressed as lamb.” That’s what you’ll see on the screen.

James Warwick is livelier than he was in The Secret Adversary but not by much. He was 36 when he filmed the movie, followed by the TV series and while he’s too old to be playing a 25-year-old, his bigger issue is being upstaged by Annis. He made it easy for her; he’s too laidback and gives off the distinct impression that he’s depressed, tired, or both.

Tommy’s a veteran of the Great War and God only knows what he endured in the trenches in France but he’s still young! Yet he doesn’t act like it. You’d think he’s a man in late middle age.

As for the mystery? It’s not bad. After Tuppence reveals that the missing hat-shop girl has been hiding in their flat all along, the relieved Lawrence St. Vincent, minor peer and worried would-be fiancé, tells the Kingston Bruce household how wonderful their detective agency is.

This was a missed opportunity for story enhancement as he’s visiting their home and the social-climbing couple are clearly angling to get him interested in their daughter, Beatrice, and not in some hat-shop girl. Too bad for them that Beatrice is enamored of a young, impoverished socialist.

The visiting American couple is amusing, even if they don’t sound American. The wife, Phyllis Betts, (Lynda La Plante) amuses herself with Tommy; their interactions are the episode’s highlights. Her husband, Hamilton, is more concerned about his wife’s stolen pink pearl than her virtue or faithfulness.
It’s obvious he gave up years ago, and if Tommy is paying attention, he might see in their relationship his possible future with Tuppence.

The other plot thread that would have benefited from enhancing was Lady Laura Barton’s. She’s aging, living off her title since she’s poor, and is suspected by many people of kleptomania. Her maid, Elise, fosters this rumor for reasons of her own. More should have been done with Lady Laura; a woman enduring genteel poverty is rife with dramatic possibilities.

There’s also the hint that Lady Laura would commit suicide if it’s discovered she’d stolen the pink pearl because she doesn’t remember stealing anything, even teaspoons. But a hint is all you get because too much time was wasted watching Tuppence behaving like Lucy Ricardo; in the office, in her and Tommy’s shared flat, and while investigating the stolen pearl. Maybe Tuppence’s brain was damaged by those electric blue cocktails she chugged down.

I’d like to say the rest of the series can only go up from here. We’ll find out! In the meantime, should you watch? It depends entirely on your tolerance for manic, madcap flappers and their long-suffering husbands.
Read more of Teresa’s Agatha Christie movie reviews at Peschel Press.