Teresa Reviews “The Adventure of the Italian Nobleman” (1993)

Teresa reviews “The Adventure of the Italian Nobleman” (1993) and found it more fun than an Italian wedding.

Fidelity to text: 3 1/2 blunt objects

A lot was added, amplifying elements hinted in the story or made from whole cloth and all improved the episode.

Quality of movie on its own: 4 1/2 blunt objects

Godfather-style weddings, Italian sports cars, comic car chases, blackmail, a boyfriend for Miss Lemon, an escape boat, and a Siamese cat. What’s not to like?

Read more of Teresa’s Agatha Christie movie reviews at Peschel Press.

Also, follow Teresa’s discussion of these movies on her podcast.

Why didn’t I give this episode 5 blunt objects? Because there were no subtitles, which I could have lived with except there were no subtitles for the Italian dialog. I can approximate what English speakers are saying. If the characters are yakking away in Italian? I have no clue. But that’s a minor quibble in a fun-packed episode. It’s so fun you’ll not care why the murderer chose to directly involve Poirot.

I’ll start with the boat. Graves, Count Foscatini’s servant, tells Poirot and the gang over tea that he was an ex-navy man. His heart must still be with the sea because he shows off a picture of his boat, Fantasia Felice, moored in Chichester. It’s a very nice boat, but we didn’t see much of it. It looks to be just big enough for two to live onboard, with a motor and sails.

Pay close attention to the gorgeous Italian racing car that Hastings is considering buying that gets the episode off to a roaring start. The brand (Eliso Freccia) is fake but the car is real. It’s a vintage Alfa Romeo 2900A produced in 1936. Hugh Fraser (Hastings) really did get to drive it but only for closeups. Most of the driving was done by the car’s owner costumed to look like Hastings.

Similarly, when the Italian car saleslady, Miss Fabbri, was driving, it was really the Alfa’s owner’s wife disguised as Miss Fabbri. They weren’t about to let their precious, jaw-droppingly expensive car get taken out joyriding by actors. And that scene where Hastings rams the escaping murderer’s car with the Alfa? Movie magic. No Alfas were harmed during production.

The series likes its car chases, but this was the best one to date by far. It wasn’t just stylish vintage cars in the English countryside. This car chase was funny. The drivers careen through the increasingly narrow streets of Chichester, involving bicyclists falling into streams, flocks of geese, open-top tourist buses, and broken crockery. Alas, all car chases must come to an end but this one ended not just with Hastings ramming his Italian speedster into the villain’s jalopy. He rammed his fist into the villain’s jaw as payback for his betrayal of Miss Lemon.

Every time you admire that sleek motorcar, you’ll wonder how on God’s green earth Hastings was able to afford it. Maybe he sold the Lagonda along with his ranch in Argentina.

But I digress. The plot is convoluted. As Hastings negotiates with the car saleslady (who knows her camshafts), he witnesses an argument between the head car salesman and a visitor. He thinks nothing of it. That evening, Poirot and Hastings dine with a doctor friend. A mysterious phone call later, they’re breaking into Count Foscatini’s flat and discovering a dead man, a bloody nude marble torso, and a live Siamese cat.

There’s also a table set for two. A lovely scene follows where Poirot interviews the chef. Count Foscatini lives in a full-service residential hotel, with concierge, elevator operators, porters, maid service, and a chef who takes orders, cooks gourmet meals, sends them down the dumb waiter, and then the dirty dishes are sent back up for washing.

Why can’t I live in a flat with maid service and a chef?

Inspector Japp arrives promptly and the investigation grinds on. When not investigating, Poirot and Hastings grill Edwin Graves, Count Foscatini’s servant, over tea. He’s dating Miss Lemon. Our gentlemen are Miss Lemon’s family and they’re concerned. What are this man’s intentions?

It’s from Graves that they learn details about Count Foscatini’s lifestyle, apparently fueled by blackmail. As they learn more about the count (Miss Lemon discovers he’s not a real Italian count), they discover the connection between the Italian car dealer, the Italian embassy, and blackmail. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know who one blackmailer is as soon as he steps into view. He’s wearing a very sharp suit, normal at the time. He’s also wearing spectator shoes, those jazzy two-tone affairs that only lounge lizards and gangsters wore. No true gentleman ever wore spectator shoes, not in Poirot. They’re too flamboyant.

The action moves to a rooftop full-blown Italian wedding reminiscent of the one you saw in the Godfather movies. It’s very un-English, a reminder that even in 1936, England was far more cosmopolitan than cozy mysteries and BBC TV series lead you to believe. A visit to the Italian Embassy follows along with hints of mobsters who are more dangerous than the Mafia. More dangerous and feared than the Mafia? Apparently so.

The spectator-shod blackmailer is hunted down and captured, but not before he burns the evidence. Subtitles would have helped because I’m still not 100% sure this man was a criminal like Count Foscatini.

Poirot solves the murder, undeterred by the flamboyant distractions of mobsters, blackmail, diplomats, and Italian sportscars. He focuses on important clues such as undrawn draperies and the contents of the victim’s stomach. Thus, our heroes end up in Chichester where they capture not just the murderer but learn the true extent of his perfidy towards Miss Lemon.

It’s always a pleasure to see Miss Lemon get some screen time. She should have gotten a 1930s detective show of her own. She’s sharp, canny, well-organized, she can go undercover. She might be taken in — for a short time — by a villain but she’ll always ferret out the truth and so it proves here.

Miss Lemon is a cat lover. If you recall The Adventure of the Egyptian Tomb, she’s been grieving over her dead cat. Her suitor reveals his true nature to Miss Lemon. He’s tasked with cleaning up Count Foscatini’s flat. He’ll have to move somewhere else. Count Foscatini had an adored Siamese cat who appears in several scenes. The cat has a speaking part as all Siamese cats do. Will Graves find this charming, affectionate, mouthy cat a new home? No, he’ll destroy it. Miss Lemon is livid.

So she isn’t upset when Poirot tells her the sordid truth about Edwin Graves. On the contrary. He deserves everything he gets. He was going to kill the cat! He didn’t save the cat! But Miss Lemon does, as Poirot discovers.

Yes, the cat has the last word. You know he’ll be a very happy cat, living with Miss Lemon. The cat statue that Poirot bought at the airport gift shop in Cairo after his Egyptian tomb adventure finally worked. The meaning of Miss Lemon’s planchette’s automatic writing is clear. A blackmailer had to die, but Miss Lemon has a new cat, and balance is restored to her universe.

Read more of Teresa’s Agatha Christie movie reviews at Peschel Press.