Teresa Reviews “Dumb Witness” (1996)

Teresa reviews “Dumb Witness” (1996) and finds the expanded story with racing boats and altered characters enriches the story.

Fidelity to text: 3½ poison bottles

Changes throughout made for a better, more satisfying movie and fixed two of Agatha’s mistakes.

Quality of movie on its own: 4½ poison bottles

Three boats and a dog, to say nothing of Poirot. Plus spiritualism!

Read more of Teresa’s Agatha Christie movie reviews at Peschel Press.

Also, follow Teresa’s discussion of these movies on her podcast.

I like boats, I like dogs, I like snappy dialog, I like seeing fine, upstanding Englishmen and women parading their xenophobia while congratulating themselves on being open-minded, and I like loopy spiritualists. Dumb Witness has them all.

The changes didn’t just enhance the story and make it move along smartly, they made Bob a major character. In the novel, Bob thinks and acts within the constraints of his doggy nature. As the narrator, Hastings interprets for him.

In the film, Bob doesn’t need an interpreter. He tells Poirot exactly what’s going on. He shows Poirot how he plays with his ball on the stairs and then — what a well-trained dog! — puts it away afterwards. He doesn’t leave his toys lying around as tripping hazards. Bob shows Poirot how mirrors work, helping him realize the truth of what Wilhelmina saw. Bob’s in almost every scene, and with a cock of his ear the cute furball steals the show.

And, as a reward for being such a good dog, he gets a new furever home with the loopy Tripp sisters. Their beloved Springer Spaniel who’d crossed the rainbow bridge years before recommends Bob to them. Or so says Poirot.

Bob’s fate is why I can’t get worked up about Dr. Grainger’s murder (which was not in the novel). His role in the adaptation was substantially beefed up, including turning him into Wilhelmina’s suitor. It’s always pleasant to see that people over the age of 30 can be permitted to love. However, Dr. Grainger dislikes Bob and threatens him with death if Poirot doesn’t take him in. Bad doctor! He deserved being gassed in Bob’s place.

By the by, if you recognize Dr. Grainger, you do! Jonathan Newth played Gabriel Stavansson, intrepid Norwegian explorer in the Partners in Crime episode, “The Case of the Missing Lady.”

The script fixed two of — dare I say it? — Agatha’s errors. Error #1 was her idea that someone can hammer a nail into the baseboard in the middle of the night, unheard by anyone other than Wilhelmina, followed by a quick coat of varnish to disguise the shiny metal. Um, no. A hammer on a nail will wake everyone up, including Bob, and the smell of varnish is pungent. It will irritate them.

The solution here, and it was almost perfect, was to use a screwdriver to start a hole and then screw in a pre-painted screw-eye. Quiet and unobtrusive. Except that the scriptwriter didn’t do any home repairs or carpentry. A screwdriver would have twisted the wood. The murderer should have used a gimlet to bore the starter hole. They’re silent and fast, and every hardware store in the known world carries them. They come in sizes, to match the screw sizes. Every toolbox had a set and still should today.

Error #2 concerns the brooch with the incriminating initials. No one wears a brooch on their dressing gown. It’s heavy. It would feel like putting on a tiara. A monogrammed dressing gown, however, is exactly what the well-dressed midnight stalker would wear. It says, “I can afford something fashionable and personalized.” Like gimlets, they’re sold everywhere.

Another character makeover occurs with Charles Arundell. He evolves from a wastrel with no visible means of support to a wastrel with a very expensive hobby, supported by his rich Aunt Emily. He attempts to set water speed records in a powerboat. It’s not just a costly hobby, it’s dangerous. His record-setting attempt opens the movie and ends in the engine catching fire and him forcing to swim for it. I wondered if the dripping fuel line was a plot point, but it was poor materials or maintenance. Giving Charles a watery grave to pour money into made him a more interesting, desperate character than just another cad.

The story is rich in boats. In addition to Charles’ vintage speedboat, there’s the pace boat with timing officials and a rescue team onboard and a handsome wooden rowboat for Charles and his sister, Theresa, to row across the lake to break into Aunt Emily’s house.

Astonishingly, despite the presence of speedboats, Hastings doesn’t get a chase scene across the lake. It seems like every Poirot episode involving modes of transportation ends in one. But he still plays a role because Charles turns out to be yet another of his friends. Hastings and Poirot attend the speed trial and meet Emily before she falls down the stairs. Fearing for her life, she asks Poirot for advice. He suggests she rewrite her will and tell the family they’re not getting a penny. Her murder gives Poirot an additional reason to want to find the killer. He feels guilty.

Dr. Jacob Tanios gets his character beefed up into exactly the kind of foreigner good Englishmen and women distrust. Despite being a doctor, he can’t practice in England. Worse, according to his wife, Bella, he’s abusive. She’s afraid of him. It’s Jacob who gives Emily a bottle of his family’s secret, medicinal tonic which she dutifully drinks. Soon thereafter, she dies of poisoning.

The Tripp sisters are a trip. They’re hardcore, loopy spiritualists.

They indulge in seances, automatic writing, and channeling spirits from beyond. They’re sure they’re reaching deep into that undiscovered country and equally sure they know what they’re doing, to the point of contacting Emily after her death to find out who killed her. They learn it’s Robert Arundell. That’s Bob the dog. Except Bob always puts his toys away and did not cause Emily to fall. So who did the Tripp sisters contact?

It’s not mentioned in the story, but contacting spirits on the astral plane is a chancy business. You have no idea who’s responding to your call or the accuracy of their answers. A spirit or demon can say whatever they damned well please. The Tripp sisters don’t seem to have even this most basic understanding of the occult; they’ve formed their beliefs according to whatever makes them happy. They cheerful, eager to help, and easily convinced, seeing omens and portents everywhere. Thus, it’s easy for Poirot to convince them that their own dearly loved Alfred is fine with Bob moving in.

The other major change to the story was to Bella. She’s an unhappy woman, married to Jacob, a man she is … afraid for? Afraid of? Would like to get rid of? She vacillates and if you’re paying attention, you’ll notice. She doesn’t try to poison Jacob as the novel implies. In the novel, she’s never directly accused of Emily’s murder. We never learn what Poirot wrote to her, when he sent her off to hide in a hotel room away from Jacob.

That won’t work for film. A visual medium requires visual fireworks. Poirot assembles all of the suspects except Jacob in Emily Arundell’s home. He reviews the evidence and is interrupted by a very angry Jacob Tanios. He sees his wife but where are his children? Poirot verbally restrains hime, lays out the facts, and it slowly becomes clear who the real villain of the piece was. Bella wanted that money to free herself from an unwanted husband but she was too clever by half. Poisoning a random capsule in the box of liver pills meant she had no control over when Emily took it. Before the new will disinheriting the relatives? Or after? Watch Bella’s face. She lost her chance at the money, a relationship with her cousins, her children, and her husband. She lost.

But you won’t! Settle in with your good dog and enjoy the show.